Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I experienced a recovery breakthrough this weekend. Ironically, October 1999 also marks the ninth anniversary of my recovery from co-dependence.
My mother and I traveled by car to San Francisco on Saturday night. Our plan was to
relax and spend some time together before picking up my brother, who was scheduled to
arrive Sunday evening at San Francisco International —on his return flight from Jamaica with a connecting flight home to Maui scheduled a few days later.
During the day on Sunday, I decided to take a long, hot shower. As I let the water massage my neck and back, my thoughts wandered to 1972, when I too had taken a summer trip to Jamaica.
I was suddenly filled with a profound sense of calm and peace. It was as if the recent cares and problems and issues of my current life were simply being washed away.
What induced this sense of calm and peace was the memory of a shopping trip in the Montego Bay straw market. In particular, I was looking for a T-shirt which read:
Every Little Thing's Gonna Be All Right.
I think that today, something was touching me and sending me a gentle reminder.
I've been taking life too seriously lately. I've been worrying far too much about the future. I've been letting the recovery principles I've proven over and over again slip from my awareness and my responses to life.
I needed to be reminded that every little thing is going to be all right. I'm going to be all right. My life is going to be all right. No matter what happens to me, I will be OK.
I am not my circumstances. Am I not my relationships. I am not my possessions or my job. I am simply me. I am a person who is trying to be the best person possible. I am a person who is dealing with life on life's terms.
Yes, everything in my life is going to be all right. Because everything in my life has a purpose and a grand design. That purpose is to bring me closer to emotional maturity, closer to my Higher Power, and closer to those people whom I care about most.
Really, nothing else in this life matters but giving and receiving unconditional love, acceptance, and encouragement. All we are asked to do is realize that our lives consist of a few, precious moments to give love, joy, peace, and hope to others.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter how they respond—our task is to keep up the work of developing our capacity to give, without losing our sense of purpose and self-esteem in the process.