Queen Bees and Mean Girls

Why is it that some days I feel like I’m auditioning for the sequel to "Mean Girls"?

I enjoy the camaraderie of like-minded people who share similar characteristics and interests. I understand that in every life situation cliques form based on race, religion, economic class, work and children. In every imaginable situation likes and dislikes, alliances and exclusions form. There are cliques of working mothers and non-working mothers, coffee drinkers and non-coffee drinkers, those who watch Desperate Housewives and those who don’t. On the other hand, we all read Lord of the Flies in elementary school, and maybe more recently caught an episode of Survivors or the Apprentice on TV where people were voted off the island or out of the office. Cliques appear to be part of the human condition. At best they form a support group. At worst, they become a confining box. Conceptualize this modern day fable:

In a complex, multi-layered hive buzzes a beautiful, articulate, affluent, charismatic and powerful queen bee. She has the magical power to strengthen friendships, or to break them, refusing admittance to her inner circle. She functions well because of wannabees, who are delighted to be in her company. The wannabees strive to get closer to the queen showing that they are worthy by dressing in the queen’s style and sharing similar interests. They feel connected and comfortable. We all know about school cliques and how painful they can be to children. However, many of us don’t realize the power cliques wield in our adult lives.

"The quintessence of humility is manifested in a practitioner's realization that he is nobody or nothing. This state of enlightenment comes when he transcends all worldly desires, illusions and mental constructs and labels associated with the ego. Buddhism refers to this as "emptiness" - empty of the contents of an illusory ego. On an in-depth psychological level, when one realizes that one is nothing, one is also everything. That means that through unconditioned love and compassion, one is now connected with all things and all beings. There is no more "I" and "mine." We are all one.