Sunday, December 7, 2008

Agreeing to Disagree?

Disagreement is a very useful tool in life
to drive improvement and progress........

Yet disagreement is seen as an unpleasant state of affairs by most people and the media as well and therefor it is often suppressed as much as possible and as long as possible. People rather bite their tongue than to express disagreement and that leads to a lot of unexpressed disagreement that keeps building up steam under the surface.

"Agreeing to Disagree." I think Ayn Rand had it right: the lowest in society seek to enchain the best of us. To pretend that the destruction of freedom is nothing more serious than a difference of opinion is to hand the murderers the gun that will destroy you. "The end does not justify the means. No one's rights can be secured by the violation of the rights of others."

This is why we Senior Mother's are now shedding
our collective suffocating cloaks that we have been enveloped in for decades, the shroud of secrecy and lies, of shame and guilt surrounding the loss of our babies in an era where this was not only condoned but encouraged. We will not be donning our shawls and sitting this one out, rocking in our chairs idling away the hours and days. No siree! Not today, not tomorrow, and not the day after tomorrow. Today we have chosen to speak up for ourselves. This is especially important when considering that our voices are now the voices most closely involved with and affected by adoption loss. The very numbers of us are staggering and not to be kept quite any longer. We have been in the trenches for years and years now dealing with the aftermath of adoption trauma. We not only see the effects in other senior mother's eyes, but we see it in the eyes of our now adult children in our reunions with them. While there has been much adoption rhetoric throughout the history of adoption, it is inescapable to avoid the veil of secrecy, shame, confusion, disconnections, and loss associated with 'this' particular era. During 'our' time adoptions were never to be spoken of and were not meant to be revealed.

Uh oh, too late, the cat appears to be out of the bag.

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