Monday, August 25, 2008

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

I am neither a statistician nor a math wizard, but I am fascinated with numbers. The numbers that have been constantly rolling around in my head of late are the estimated total number of the Mother’s of coerced adoption surrender era. I will just call it (MOCAS).

Between the years of 1940 to 1970 it is estimated that up to four million mothers in the United States surrendered newborn babies to adoption in those years; two million during the 1960s alone.

If you are one of these statistics don't you think now is the time for the mind-boggling numbers of women, where ever you are, to please come forward and speak out.

It is time to kick the guilt and the 'brand' of shame that we all carry to the curb.

I am imploring all of you to be more open about it. Talk openly and often about your lack of belief in the adoption system from your perspective and why. Come out of the adoption loss fog and let people know who you really are.

Today another natural/first mother told me, " my house it was the “elephant”......first, a soft gray and silent, just sitting there, easy to walk around and ignore. As the years went by, the elephant began taking on a pink hue & kind of getting in the way. By the time my daughter found me the damn thing was FUSCIA, and ZOOOOOOMING at the speed of light around the room.

"Once I let out the “dirty little secret”, I flew off on that pink elephant, never to return."

For me it was the sleeping dog, or the dead dog on the table. It stunk to high heaven, but by god no one was going to say a word. Thanks Linda for reminding me again why we ALL need to give a big ole shout out! Time to dump the dog and the elephant or what ever it was you called it in your family, because I am sure we all experienced it.

I know some of you are asking why would you want to do such a thing? The upside of prejudice against us mothers speaking out about the truth of EMS/BSE is that MOCAS isn't an identity worn on the outside for all to see, like race or gender. MOCAS can be invisible as such, if they so choose. But I'm not so sure that really constitutes an upside: Invisibility has its benefits, perhaps, but the costs are far greater.

If we do not speak out now how will progress in ordinary, basic human respect get done? I think a huge portion of the progress will have to do with openness. The "silence = death" campaign against EMS, and countless personal choices by many individual women to be open about their own identities will hopefully create an atmosphere where we the women of that time period are no longer invisible.

As ignorance breeds fear, knowledge breeds acceptance. The only way to undermine the knee-jerk reaction of the truth so many people seem to have about us is to let the world know that we no longer have anything to fear by speaking up .

Only if together we throw off the stifling cloak of invisibility and come out in the open for all to see do we have any chance of altering those prejudiced perceptions of MOCAS and of overcoming people's ungrounded assumptions about who MOCAS are.

Besides, you know you often find the closet dark and stifling, however comfortable its protection may be on occasion.

So, please come out, come out, where ever you are. Please stand up and be accounted for and join our numbers. Together we are formidable.

= 139,676,498,390

Member of SMAAC

Senior Mothers of Coerced Adoption Surrender

Empowered, Wiser and Demanding Justice!

Side bar:
Someone said that the name of our organization, SMAAC, sounded "angry." Well Gee...Ya think?

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